Tempest7: Blogger

How far should friendship go?

There has been a debate about principles surrounding frendship that has always existed between myself and another friend. We had a flare up based around this disagreement of views and I've decided to blog about it after seeing my cousin's post on personality types. My cousin and I are both actually ENTJ and his post reminded me why I take certain positions within arguments.

My friend has always taken a position that suggests that friendships are above everything. Certainly I will not debate that friendships are not important, but I still have a moral standard that I need to balance with my friendships.

There was a story passed on from a Korean friend, about a boy who boasts to his father that he has so many true friends. His father tells his child that his friends are not really his true friends and provides a test to his son. They kill a pig and put the remains into a large bag. He is told to take the pig to each of his friend's houses and ask for help, telling them that he was forced to murder someone and that he doesn't know what to do. He goes to several friends and one after another they give him an excuse to keep him out of the house. Eventually the father takes the pig and approaches his own best friend who takes him inside without question offering to help in anyway.

I can not say, even with a best friend, that I could trust every situtation without question. I will even question my parents, and myself. Everyone is prone to mistakes, no matter how smart they are.

The incident that brought this whole debate up again happened with my friend and one of his friends. He felt that his friend had intentionally infected him with a virus via MSN messenger. He was emotional about it because he felt his friend betrayed his trust by sending him a virus and apparently the other friend "mocked" him about it. He was looking for revenge and looking for me to help him. I do have some background with security, attending a couple of SANS conferences, but of course we were presented with a moral guideline not to use our knowledge for ill. I felt that for revenge in a situtation where nothing is really damaged was uncalled for. But, should I be there when my friend requests help? Help to inflict damage on others because damage was inflicted on him?

I wonder how other people feel about this situtation. Should I quesiton my friend's request, or should I have acted because he is such an important friend?

As I wrestled with the thought my friend Jason passed me a quote that fits this situtation perfectly. One of the greatest works in the English literature is Shakespeare's Hamlet. The play's theme is nearly identical to this basic concept of duty versus morality. Act 1 Scene 3 as Laertes prepares to leave his father implores him to commit a few "precepts in thy memory". Namely the famous quote " This above all,--to thine own self be true; And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man."

posted by Tempest7 @ 13:38